How to be happy

After the team got down we were told that we had to rock climb back up the other side of the mountain. Our leader first made us climb down another 50m of most infested wet rock. We then crossed the waterfall and spidered into the forest and up 30m of rock.

The sweat was vomiting down our faces and our leader told us to break. He then looked at us and said he has to go. What? He told us to follow the arrows and we will reach civilization. I could see the fear erupting in the eyes of skinny Indian kid with Wednesday legs and glasses (who we later named Spider Monkey) so I manned up to the challenge and started leading us up the mountain rocks. There was no path: Just rocks.

We were doing well clawing our way through the flora. A scream then came from the back. My mother had a thorn the size of a needle pierce her hand. Grateful that it was no army of arachnids or reptiles we removed the object from her and ventured on.

Just when we thought it was safe; a decaying smell enveloped the area. We had to soldier under a Giant tree root that was infested with maggots. The sight that met our eyes was not attractive. It was the skeleton of a Hadida blanketed with maggots. Fear that the predator may still be in the surroundings, saw us increasing our pace.     

Spider Monkey slipped after battling up a giant rock but luckily my mother caught him.

We were dehydrated and starved. I kept telling them that I have not watched enough Bear Grylls to identify what is edible so our motivation for food was: Starve.

After about another fifteen minutes of hardship and toil I saw the most beautiful glitter above us: Light. That meant land. I wiped a tear out of the corner of my eye. Such happiness comforted our last few climbs up the bush infested mountain.

After getting to the top, we were family. I loved my mother more than normal and Spider Monkey grew with additional confidence as he Hi5’s us goodbye.

In any aspect of life, you have to make it an adventure. True happiness is a choice and living on the edge adrenalines new prospects to any situations. If you make it through the fear and pain: Happiness engulfs your inner most being. 

How to make it through the wilderness...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Piercing screams and bottled fear stained the air at The Gorge. My mother drove us to some hole in Kokstad where she planned to settle a truce with her fear of height. Apparently this fear is contagious, as upon arrival no one volunteered to accompany her on her quest. I was almost finished with my December copy of SA RUGBY so there was honestly nothing better for me to do. Apart from that, I am an adrenaline junkie.

It is the highest natural abseiling point in South Africa so I can understand why as soon as we were set up to go that everyone in our group chickened out. There were only three of us deranged species left: My mother, myself and a skinny Indian kid with Wednesday Legs and glasses: The formidable team.  

They then told us that we have to go one at a time. My mother gave me this look which had me volunteering immediately.

As I started my venture down, there was this pang of conscience that hit me. It was a straight drop. On my second step downward, I was comfortable. I went all Spider-Monkey and did these dramatic jumps to and from the rock. Oh my, I was lost in a world of my own. I kept thanking God for blessing me with this world that I so hardly make an effort to enjoy. I stopped about half way and just took everything in. The birds, the scent of fresh water tickling my skin, and the natural glowing of the moment made me sigh with gratitude.

I got to the bottom and rock climbed to the waterfall where I just lay on a giant rock waiting for the others to come- and that is where I thought about how easy it is to forget to acknowledge the natural beauty. 

In a relationship, there are little things that make you crazy for a person but when you see them every day; they become mundane beauties. Try think to some of the things that are natural and genuine. Take time to absorb them and do not be afraid to acknowledge beauty if it’s thereJ

The biggest mistake you can make...

Hello hi.

It is a concept that is as deathly as the screech from sliding nails across a chalk board. It is as sickening as sun stroke or food poisoning. It is as lame as Savannah jokes. The theory of the real life bachelor is hideous. Please leave it to the series channel where it can be joked about but do not bring it into your character.

You cannot be flirting with a few women in hope that by giving them all an opportunity to impress you; that you will find ‘the one’.   

What often happens is that there will be a girl throwing herself at you or making herself a lot more accessible. The one you probably should connect with will draw away in hope that you will make an effort to fight for her. Being a male, you fall into temptation and ruin your chances with the girl that is best for you.

I often talk to my brothers about public affection. In the old days, this would mean holding hands or kissing in front of a group of people. These days; it involves FaceBook, Twitter and all different types of social media.

What girls say for the world to see, and how you reply to it paints perspective to the eyes reading it.

Obvious. Indeed. It still shocks me how men cannot see it.

What they may see as a naïve answer, according to my brothers- men can be naïve, is perceived as flirting or leading on.

You are looking for trouble if that is where you build the foundation of any relationship.

Making an effort, can be compared to an aggressive investment: It may go wrong but if it goes right… You reap a reward that is comforting. It is flawless when done correctly so easy up on them mistakesJ

How to tell her she is fat...

On our walk back to our original beach my brothers scouted some talent. Actually, they were so impressed with this one female that they started acting like idiots: One more than the other really. Flexing as he laid the towel down, he kept looking her way. It became such a comedy that I had to bust his moment. I told him that she is probably only sixteen. He said that the bet was on. He thought she must be at least twenty.

We sent the youngest of our crew in to interrogate the poor lass. He came back with a positive result for yours truly. She was only sixteen. I was right. All women look good when they are sixteen. They have yet to battle in the war of ‘’first year out of school” syndrome. They are still continuously active and socialise in other ways then daily coffees and cakes. Their time will come. Haha.

 Once they are of that age where they become what they eat, weight is always a touchy subject. No, you cannot tell her abruptly or even joke about it. Women catch those hints and it is hurtful. They may look like a pig but have you actually taken the time to enjoy how great bacon really is?

My brothers kept me on the straight and narrow. It was not incredibly painful getting that bacon slice from them as I tease them about their slightest imperfection too. It is a safe environment. My dad would also occasionally throw in that a flanker would not marry a prop. It is a hand off to some, but if it comes from those who know you, they often get the message across in a way that you could receive it and change.

Instead of telling her yourself, try look at what makes you fall in love with her. Hopefully, it is not her six pack but instead something deeper. You are also going to get old, most probably fat, and wrinkly one day and brother, she aint going to be leaving you.

If it gets really bad where she does not feel good about herself, talk politely to her family and they could give you some advice. You can even suggest that you both join the gym or go or walks/runs with her.

We need to become a healthier society but that is not that easy if we have lemon meringue and vetkoek so easily at our disposal. Self control and security I needed. Women are fragile. Do not smash her self-image. Get her family to soak the greasy stain out of her.

How Kidding is Attracive...

I am on holiday and have got my beneficiary to stand in as I have vowed to bid the social network adieu. Although I am technically not indulging in cyber civilization, I am still writing, inspired by fresh air and blistering sunburn… Attractive. I know.

The brothers and I hit the beach this morning. The waves on our beach were dangerous. Explosions of water shot at me. The side wash sucked me in. It thrust me around, dunked me and had me swallow so much salty water. It was a circus. I managed to catch a wave out but the brothers and I decided to walk to the next beach in hope of a more gentle splashing sensation… I think their real motivation behind the new beach was that there was simply no talent for them within our current location.

It is sad to say but we actually counted every step we took to the new beach. The heated total of 1 132 steps had us run into the new set of waves. I was having problems with my costume so I decided to stay shallow. I turned to check if I was between the two poles but as I turned; a giant wave knocked me over. My hair mopped my face and as soon as I found my feet on the ground, I pushed myself up.  

Whilst clearing the water from my eyes I found myself staring straight into the most beautiful smile… Confidence just steamed off this early twenties smiling male. He asked me if I was ok… I just smiled and stepped away deeper into the ocean. I turned around to see him still looking at me. Then he broke our stare and picked up a little kid. He started playing with this young specimen, well aware that I was watching, he lifted him up on his shoulders and protected him from the waves. Laughter just bombed from the little ball of charisma.

I am not dating for another two years so instead of pursuing a flirt I just tackled one of my brothers and thought… I am not sure why, but if males are good with children, it makes them at least 10% more attractive. A female finds comfort in that. A gentle nature is what provides security to children and possibly, for a female, it provides futuristic hope…

The Age Restriction of Puppy Love

When I say 'Puppy Love', I am strictly emphasising the 'puppies' in the 'love-is-sphere'. I group them from the ages of 20 downwards...

Why?

The world is a changing bowling ball with opportunities that give you the high scores but also the misses and it is so easy to direct a miss if you do not give the ball enough energy to be thrust in the correct direction.

What I am really saying is that if you are fourteen years older than your 'puppy': Please leave her alone. For all you know; she is really not into you.

Let us give it a scenario... Perhaps you gym at the same time every morning. Perhaps you may have played for the SpringBokke at one stage of your life and perhaps you wear the same Sharks shorts to gym everyday in hope of finding groupies of the past...

Brother, if you are that much older than her, with a possible marriage behind your back, AND SHE IS ONLY TWENTY, come on!

She will leave you signs of her non interest. Damn right.

When she purposefully gyms on the opposite side of the gym; it is not because she deems your long distance offering worthy. She is trying to escape you. Do not make the effort to walk to the other side day after day and hit her with one sentenced conversation.

This is the mini cherry on top of the regular cherry that tops the Sundae of awesomeness that is my life.

It is not personal: She appreciates your effort but let her decide and follow her lead.

That is all...

Love potions...

So there's been a little surprise thrown into this glorious world of blogging...and that's me! A guest blogger who will be gracing the pages of Margi's blog for a few days while your favourite blogger is soaking up some much needed rest and getting inspiration for another one of her smashing posts ...lets hope I don't mess it up too much! so SURPRISE! Guess you didn't see that one coming hey!

There were only a few rules I were given, one was to be funny (um ok I'll try), and of course ,as you are well aware of, is to babble on a bit about love and dating and all that that pot of gold holds. Lets hope it won't dissapear like the imaginary ones do at the end of a rainbow. With the ugly leprachan next to it. Ok im getting carried away slightly, enough of little Irish men and illusionary glory. Today's topic of discussion is none other than....dum dum dum....MAGIC!

ghasp! Horror! magic??? AM i suggesting love potions to lure your valentine into becoming your hopelessly devoted other half? No no of course not. That only happens in movies. Harry Potter to be precise. Over the last two days I have achieved the incredible feat of watching all 6 movies. yes close your mouth for goodness sake I know i'm brilliant sometimes. And you know what the incredible achievement actually is? I can only remember the love scenes in the series that is FULL of the swishing of wands and rather complicated words.

Harry Potter is completely secondary to the love story of Hermione and Ron. Some really classic moments of brilliance there that we ought to learn from. And no this doesn't only apply to lanky redheads and fiery blondes. It's about best friends who in the end decide for something more. Sounds like a lot of people I know actually. Maybe because it is a winning formual??? Or is it because that they became to lazy to look for someone else?? I"m leaning towards to the former... Even through all those awkard moments of realisation (which were hilarious) they stuck to their guns (or wands) and pushed through. And were rewarded the biggest pot of gold in the end, eachother. Friends for life, two beings that understand eachother so intimately that words do not need to pass between them. And I think that this is possibly the best result of a friendship. Not that I'm telling you all to frantically question every friendship you have with the opposite sex and suddenly become all weird towards them. No! Stop! Enjoy their company. And if it turns into something else well then consider yourself a lucky person.

Old school!

My mother and I saw this elderly couple approach their car and we jumped excitedly in our seats because we  found a parking. Parking at Christmas time is as scarce as hair on my brothers chest... Ha ha. He'll get me back for that one someday:)

The euphoria was assassinated as the snowy couple disappeared... Irritation. Patience being tested. After 15 minutes, he emerged from the side of the car that his wife was on.

My mother and I looked at each other and smiled. The frustration that was building up left like a cool breeze.

At his old age, he still opens the car door for his wife.

Incredible.

My mate who has been dating his girlfriend for two years now also opens the door for her. She said that in the entire duration of their courting, he has only forgotten twice. She loves how it rounds up an evening with thoughtfulness.

That gesture is a winner. Never stop using it:)

Content in your happiness?

My evening last night was simply buoyant as I was visited by my two very special friends.

Our evening was first consumed in the bliss bubbling in my new HP which I have deservingly named Apple. We then bit into the sweet South African delicacy defined by ice cream and then we commuted to the lounge for an impromptu interview.

My Brooch and I once discussed the difference between being happy and the lasting feeling of being content. I thought it would be an appropriate topic of discussion as these two love birds have engraved their relationship on something much stronger than worldly emotion.

I asked Nikki what she would prefer. She immediately opted for security found in being content. She wants those moments where there is nothing but their hearts communicating. This can be found in those moments where there is nothing said. When they can just stare into each others eyes and know without verbally declaring it: That they love each other.

Si, my colleague i so often bring up, immediately interrupted and said he disagrees. It was a bit of a shocker... I won't lie. But then his answer was a pearler. He said that he wants happiness all the time around. He wants to fight to make it continuous. He wants her to be part of a relationship  that is so much more than what the world sees in relationships. He is fighting to make happiness the new definition of being content. Wow.

He said there can be quiet moments like when they are on a mountain top but that is in context. There is something about the view and Nikki that takes any words right out of his mouth. Those moments cannot be boxed by the word contentment.

We continued talking and I have so many topics that will make great future blogs but there was something both of them did not mention. Words alone cannot define it. There is such beauty in the way they are comfortable with each other. Their stares are warm and knitted together. They are the epitome of grace and respect in a relationship.

They are not afraid to disagree but simultaneously respect each others point in discussion.

Their reaffirming realness takes their relationship from something that should be ordinary to something joyous and extraordinary.

How to master the unexpected date

I got to work yesterday with the sudden reminder of the Christmas dinner.


Shock. Horror. Gasp.

I need a date. 

I thought I'd just go with my college because his treasure was on holiday in Cape Town... But as I thought I found the way out, he called asking me if I would fetch his lass from her house because he is in a meeting until late in the evening. I had the holiday weeks messed up. 

Tut. Tut. Tut.

This is work. I cannot just take anyone. My usual date is on holiday... Also, my colleague jokingly makes me feel like a third wheel and then starts on his theory of how maybe my purpose in life is to be single. He talks about Paul in the bible and how significant his celibacy life style was. Then he gets all melodramatic and informs me of the importance of bringing a date and it really felt like the inside of my head was blowing up like a balloon in a rusted cage. I was about to pop... But then it hit me. I found the man:)

I gave him a ring and caught him in a dreamy state. I asked him but his answer was so vague and mystical that I just assumed he was not interested.

About half an hour later, after phoning my colleague and reporting my dismal date failure, dreamy date calls back asking who it was that phoned him. After a good few seconds of laughter we both registered that he never registered anything in our last conversation. He was out of his slumber and agreed to accompany me to the evenings dinner function... On such short notice, he deserves to be honored. 

I had such fun. Wow. I just laughed and laughed. We almost entered the wrong apartment with a frail old lady, seemingly dying on her chair, with nothing but a cloth covering the front of her body. Her eyes were alive and reminded me of a tiger before it obliterated its prey... Her door was wide open as if she was wanting to leer in the naive natives with her decaying charm. 

We eventually found the correct apartment after some good evening exercise. 

I just had so much fun. We purposefully squeezed on the same half of the couch. Air punching and high 5's were all around too. He was an incredible date leading our team in victory with his worldly knowledge in 30 seconds. Teams changed for the second round and again our team won. 

Michael Schumacher. Nelson Mandela... Chester WIlliams. Donald Crump???

Man...

When we left we just went to check on the little old lady. She was still there. Masking the same expression. Door wide opened...

So for those guys out there trying to find out what to do in order to have a great date with your mate... Make sure you know how to laugh and stay away from old ladies with their doors open:)

My example of what love can be...

Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.

True though isn't it?

Today marks the eight year mark in the marriage of my parents. Okay, there was a divorce in the picture a few years prior to this festivity, between my father and mother, but my step mother has fitted into the frame for the past eight years and I love her so.  

Their relationship is so inspiring. They remind me of Egyptians... Well, the Egyptian Geese. Once they find their perfect partner, they stay together and die together. 

These two parents of mine are in continuously flapping their teamed-up wings and flying higher. 

They show me how love is meant to be. My father has this dangerous snoring vibrator that starts up the minute he closes his eyes. This is not restricted to his room, No. We could be watching the television and feel the earth moving, with this tractor sound birthing from his side of the room. My step mother sleeps next to that! If that is not love, educate me. 

My step mother has the tendency to see everything in the positive spectrum. She will remind my father that he has not lost his smile, and that is it under his nose- he just forgets that it is there. She never lets him sulk or feel sorry for himself. That would drive me crazy but it brings out the best in him. Love once again. 

They are so honest and respect each other to a new degree. My father, like myself, is a sport-o-holic. We find rugby to be more than a game. It is a way of life. Unfortunately, it threatened his life. After the Boks/ Scotland game, you can understand. He was in critical condition. Barely able to breathe. His pupils dilated. His heart near arrest.   

He survived. Fortunately. 

My step mother had a serious discussion with him. She informed him that his son is not playing. He has not coached the team, He knows none of the players personally. He should abstain from this vicious cycle of abnormality. 

He listened. 

He has not watched a single game since. Only the highlights if I gave him the thumbs up. 

Love. Love. Love.

They always try to spend alone time together and they set me that example I strive for. They are quirky and young at heart. It is real man:)

I just want to honor them and what they base their relationship on. Jesus is their main focus. Every time I burst into their room at 5am in the morning, they are having a quiet time together. It is so beautiful.

Why not take something from their relationship because it is love that makes you smile when you are tired:)

The sucker in the relationship...

I watched the third of that vampire and hyaena series... Twilight.

To be completely honest, the prior films have been bordering on lame in my opinion. I mean,  how can one girl have such bad luck? She is prey for both fields of specimen. They crave more than her blood: They crave her heart. It is too much of a metaphysical speculation. And, like most metaphysical speculations, it has very little reference to the actual facts of life as we know it. But this one... Sigh... I enjoyed it incredibly.

Prior the viewing of the film, my mother and I were having our kitchen bonding session. She said she had read one of my blogs and thinks my entire outlook on love and life is dull and boring. I love that woman. Her honesty is inspiring. I had to laugh because a few years ago she would be ever so glad if her daughter had the same ideals as I do now. Tut tut tut. 

Thing is, I think she is just worried that there are no men who have the qualities that I expect them to have. But this is where Twilight comes in: The one scene is focussed around the theme of the lass wanting to lose her virginity to the vampire because he wants her to experience everything humanly possibly before she becomes cold. 

It got rather steamy and pg before he controlled the moment. He paused the intimacy and said something that elevated me to the utmost place of respect for his character. He said that, in his time, he would have courted her for years before asking her fathers permission to marry her and then only contemplate stealing a kiss from her.

It just gets to me that we are living in a society where everything is speeding up. We are in a whirl pool of temptation rather then a sustainable river of fulfillment. 

It is becoming uncommon for men to lead a relationship. At the first sign of a women being interested, they give in. It is not the ideology of communism controlling a relationship that I am trying to highlight. That is ridiculous. I just miss the stories and the genuine feelings that came with being treated like a significant individual. 

Marriage is a commodity these days. Ask a kid about their first kiss and it is generally something they are not proud of sharing because it was a horrible club experience or with someone they never even knew. 

Mutual respect and courting does not have to be a romantic fantasy. Everyone felt butterflies once. Why do we forget where it all began?

Do not let the worlds perspective snake its way around who you can be. It will suck you dry. You will be left cold... And alone.  

How to dance and smile on the key pad:)

"A part of me is missing without knowing that you're ok and doing well"

Oh my word! What a text to wake up to. A simple text can mean so much. We cannot always see each other face to face so if you drop unexpected text every now and again, it can be perceived as meaningful:) 

I replied informing him that he makes me feel like a million bucks. He said, "You are a million bucks, and even then, it's only small change:)"  

Pinch me so I know I am not dreaming... 

It is that sweet candy floss feeling, where pink and glitter shine from everything. If you get a random text showing that you're on someone's mind, you cannot help but smile. 

We get so consumed in the day and in planning things that we often just need to lift our heads and tell someone we care. 

I am not implying that we should become deranged thumb incentivized animals that prey on technology to deliver emotions; let us rather opt for a genuine touch of sincerity. 

So how do we achieve this?

Males, I want you to practice becoming mates first with your beau. There is nothing more irritating then sending a text and not getting a reply. If this is constant happening in your situation, also consider that she has no interest in you. There is a way to communicate without feeling obliged for an answer and that is where you ask questions that are rhetorical or not open-ended. 

Let her know when she is on your mind. If she is overwriting your thoughts every second of every day then just give her a once off indication. Do not become obsessed and text her eight times during the course of a morning. 

Send her a text during a sporting game. It will blow her mind that she has crossed your thoughts under all the intensity. I know when I am watching sport that I hardly think of anything except for the game but if I get a text from someone during all the excitement, it lightens my mood and makes me smile. 

So what do you think?

Key pad dance on your mobile and make someone smile today:)

Get goofy, be you and tell her you care:)

"How will I know if he really loves me? I say a prayer with every heart beat. Falling in love when ever we meet..."

Haha... I am so in love today. With who? No human; but I have that incredible joy that I only find myself splashing in when I am in love... Thanks Whitney for making my morning a song:)

Ahhhh... I am just thinking to the times where I have made an idiot of myself. I remember being so head over heels for this one guy- he was speaking to me and I just nodded smiling... After he finished his sentence... I was still nodding and smiling... When he walked away... I was still stuck in my own element of time nodding... And smiling...

Oh there was this one swimmer too... Him and I used to do tumble turns together. We'd stare straight into each others goggles and smile whilst releasing vast amounts of bubbled carbon dioxide on our strokes to the lithosphere.
We'd even get arm spasms at the same time causing a need to stop and stretch together. 

One of the elders from our church boasted about his wife yesterday to me. He was telling me how they met and how, for seven years, he chased her. His eyes lit up and his tone was light and crispy. If i did not stop him, he would have burst into song. After all these years, he is still fascinated and deeply in love with his wife.

Today I want to let you in on how to let a girl know that she is the apple of your eye.

It is incredibly important to not get deeply serious and confess your heart in a monologue. Keep it quirky, fresh and like baked bread rolls out of an oven; delicious.

My heart becomes a butterfly that flutters into every corner of my cardiac contraption when I think of how one guy wrote me a letter. It was adorable. Whilst opening the letter, it exploded with his scent. Wow. I first laughed for a while because it was so cheesy. Then I read a poem: Roses are red. Violets are blue. No one is as beautiful as you. Hahaha. It invited me to watch a rugby game with him. It was to-the-point. He indicated he was interested and when I spent time with him it was very easy because there were no pretenses.

He even sang to me on another date. He cannot sing for nothing but Chasing Cars was the epitome of comedy as he belted out the lyrics. It was ridiculously adorable and it made my heart bubble with deep gratitude.  

I can go on with stories but what I find, from my discoveries, is that you should get to know the girl that is dominating your thought. There are certain things that are unique to her personality and if you acknowledge them, play up to them and make her laugh about them... She shall get the picture. It never hurts to be honest in a humorous way. She will also be able to tell you directly if she does not feel the same.

I had this one boyfriend that compared me to an orange. He said that I was bright. Full of flavor. Something he wanted to much up. It is almost sad but to me it was hilarious. 

Make that effort to let her know in a way that cannot be awkward. 

Dating is harmless unless it gets serious. Be friends, hold out on the benefits until marriage. Live and love:)

How to be the jock that tackles jealousy:)

Jealousy. 

The Auschwitz of relationships. A concentration camp that suffocates life. 

"Beware dear Lord of Jealousy. The green-eyed monster doth mock the meat it feeds upon."

I have heard stories of men being accused of being with ladies they have not even met yet... I could go on about how deranged women get. I should possibly research that because that is psychological... But today, my friends, I will let you males know how not to be lead by jealousy when dating a ten. That is right. Your significant other is a ten. Treat her like it:) 

Here are some tips incase you start feeling the green machine taking over:)

It is important for her to be spending time with her friends. They were there before you and- if things do not work out- they will be there long after you. By spending time with her friends you allow her to be geeky and silly. Practically, you are giving her space to let loose. She needs other stimulation. Just like men have play station days, fishing and game trips and even drinks-with-the-men, women also need their time outs... 

When it comes to what she feels is most important, you need to support her. If she has a love for sport and is possibly exceeding far beyond anyone's expectations- you should encourage her. I once dated someone who said I must give up my passion in sport for him because he is not the top of my priorities and I spent more time training than with him... 

If you have a common main motivation in life, it makes it easier. Faith can lead you in the right direction. I find that when I put God first above everything, everything else seems to work out. But when I compromise my standards for someone who does not believe what I know in my heart, then we both feel awkward and I cannot always talk about my love for Jesus because I respect his feelings. You only end up sharing one half of yourself with someone... That is not fair on either parties.

You need trust. If you grew up in a broken home you may feel like your parents example is haunting you. You are your own person and maybe you need to share your fear with someone to gumboot dance on the insecurities of your past. 

Do not turn into the monster aided by jealousy. 

It is melodramatic. Learn to be mellow and leave the drama to Shakespeare:) 

How to be a gentleman...

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams ..." - Dr. Seuss Wow, that was beautiful... It encapsulated my entire ocean of thought and glittered a smile upon my face. A genuine phrase I rate. Something so genuine, it defines the qualities of a gentleman... Today I swim in the pool of delight that encompasses the being of a the male whom is gentle.  I would just like to clarify that being a gentleman does not only apply to males when they are wooing a significant other. It is like a tattoo. Once you engrave the qualities into your manner, it becomes permanent and you embrace that title everywhere.    I am very blessed to be surrounded with gentlemen. This weekend alone, I was in awe of how special some of my mates are and it is by their example that I write today to give men who are still trying to figure the how-to on being that man that a lady feels proud to boast about:) Something that always makes me feel special is when a guy stands back and lets you enter a room first. One of my friends even take it to an extreme of letting me walk first up a hill toward a parking lot. It a gesture that is 'old school' but charming.  Acknowledging a lass in any situation is admirable. I was plodding along yesterday morning and I walked passed one of my good mates who was having breakfast with his bunch of male buddies. He immediately stood up at the sight of me, got my attention, introduced me to everyone and made me feel like I was part of the crowed. I did not intrude on their breakfast but he made me feel like I was a genuine interest in his life just like the group he was hanging with. Our friendship is interminable. Where some men choose to turn certain friendships on and off like a light switch, he chose to be relaxed and sincere.  I will just finish off with what really rounds up a gentleman in my opinion. Friends and I have often discussed what an impact it leaves on you when after you spend time with someone- be it a date or a coffee- the text after the vibe makes a female smile with security that it was time well spent. It can either be a thank you or a good night; even just a joke into the direction of what your communication was about. So many of my guy mates do that and it is ridiculously sweet. It may seem insignificant or a little weird but: We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

The List...

Hello daar:)

Todays blog has been inspired by one person. 

Ash:)

Our collective and collaborative approach to certain topics have been inspiration beyond control. Her honesty and out look on life is charming and, even though we may not want to admit it, she speaks on behalf of most woman. She is secure in wanting to be romanced one day and, even though us women put up this independent feminist front, we all want to feel like the centre of someone's world someday and today I am letting you men into a little secret ... The list.

Most girls in their teens create some sort of fantasy man... The man of their dreams... Literally. In this list, they bullet the characteristics and features that they would love in their future husband. They may have certain requests like, "Please treat my heart gently" or "love my freckles and my natural hair". Sitting comfortably in silence, can also be that pending issue that most females have an insecurity about... I remember my one boyfriend and I were so lame and awkward that we even said, "Silence is golden, so lets shut up and get rich."   

Silent scream...

Ultimately, we discovered, that in every list, females desire to be loved. Once again, you cannot just love someone deep down in your own heart- you need to remind them. You need to be spontaneous. Blind fold her and taker her places. My one mate made me a flower out of a straw and crumpled up serviette. It was not a romantic gesture but it I still perceived it as ridiculously sincere and thoughtful. 

In most lists, friendship in a relationship is a formality. Girls do not want to lose out on the attention given in a friendship. In a relationship, you may fall into the trap of a stereotype and it becomes forced or just boring. Many people may walk past each other and not even notice each other in the same way anymore. 

The list vacillates in sizes but it really just points to the quality needed in a certain man. She does not want to change you, she is simply just setting a standard that will avoid her from falling into the wrong relationships.

It is an interesting concept and definitely worth doing more research into:) 

Be you, and a great you, and you will be the perfect man at the end of some ladies list:) 

Circus of abnormality

I was naive. His love was like candy. It was artificially sweet. I was deceived by the wrapping. 

Why stabs from her past relationships bruise her future thinking...

If it not the way he stared, it is the way he touched. It is the way he held her heart in the palm of his hand- moulded- in soothing promises and comforting gestures... 

A female expects so much from her first love. She is set in the fairy tale of the happily-ever-after. The knight in shining armor. The Colgate smile and full embrace. Then she gets caught in the web of reality... Where she learns how to bleed, devoured by him. Completely. 

A lady is enveloped in her emotional reasoning. She over thinks and reads into every situation. She takes his word as truth and when things ends it is not just the reality of being alone... There are a lot of deep feelings that she has to do away with. If there has been any physical connection, then the process of moving on is fragile. Leap frogging from one relationship to another is a possibility or a constant seeking for attention may drive her newly single state.

The physical aspect to any relationship makes a woman crave intimacy and that is lethal... Dangerous actually. I have been looking at couples who have abstained from even kissing until they are married. At first, I thought this was strange but then I look at the world we living in... Sex is a comfortable subject and kids are experiencing lust younger and younger because of what they are exposed to in the media. What people think of before they sleep at night is often driven by their emotions for the opposite sex and then their sub conscious creates a fantasy that you would not discuss in public.       

We need to root back to what makes a two people compatible. You need a stem, a support system which is found in friendship. If you base it on intimacy, then you hunger desires that eventually become mundane formalities. Conversation and depth stimulates a blossom between people and if you sustain a genuine interest in personal growth, when it gets to the phase of marriage, you are encouraging perpetual respect for one another. 

A woman cannot fully walk away if she has given her dreams, heart and past to one guy... If you do not see the relationship as forever, then do not allow her to lose herself in you. 

Do not be the puppeteer putting on a show, allowing her to amuse only the pitiful.

Relationships need to be real. Allow her to be herself, remove her mask and until you are married: keep the relationship as light as possible so if things do not work out- She won't be bruised and scared by you...

The sink hole of our society...

Shock. Horror. Silent scream.

Emotion electrocuted my brain as I read the article in Time Magazine. I have put the link at the bottom of my blog so that you can indulge in the unpleasantness yourself.

Marriage. 

In America, 28% of the population are secure in the sorrow of marriage being obsolete. I do not want to criticize these folk but their outlook, in my opinion, is the vortex of insanity.  

Marriage is not a commodity. It is statistically proven that wealthier couples are bound to wedlock but it is not necessary to say that your financial bracket should determine the out come of your relationship. In the past, your cash flow meant nothing if your heart was in it. There is this couple that I admire incredibly. They work in the same office building as I do and are elders in a church too. They got married at the tender age of her; 20- him;23 and she had their first child at 21. They now have four children that are genuine blessings to civilization. They were both unemployed and started out financially deprived but they had something a lot of people do not have these days: Each other. 

They are both incredibly successful and their children are visionaries because of family. They had parents that supplied emotional security. It was not an effort of who the greater individual was. It was the unity and surrounding love that allowed that family to blossom. 

My brooch and I were discussing this topic via text and he said something so beautiful: "I completely understand why marriage is becoming outdated as a concept with people becoming more self dependent and not requiring a significant other in order to be considered successful... However, I do feel that one of the main factors contributing to a successful society is the union between two individuals; i guess you know the saying 'it starts with the family' and i reckon that is the backbone of society..."  

I have seen so many children, and I was one of them, that come from broken homes. You immediately form an opinion about team work and how if you don't do it yourself- it won't get done. You develop a fear of relationships and run away when you let someone in. Often, children from these circumstances push the extremes. They delight in hurting others; the same way they were hurt or the seek attention in ways that dampen their reputation.       

I now look ay my dad and his new wife of eight years and their relationship has completely rejuvenated my ideals. They are adorable and their strength together makes them a dynamic duo that 'skriks vir niks'. 

Marriage is no metaphysical speculation. 

Our post modernist society defies truth. We find hope in celebrities and the media. Please excuse my venting; but take a minute to think of the person that makes your heart jingle... Is there not more truth in them than in an advert for combating split ends?

Love is undefined until you find someone to define it.  

Marriage is the process where the definition takes place...

How to display interest effectively...

Awe my ma se kinders. 

I am back once again, cocooned in the joy of a Monday and fluttering in the hope that we are getting somewhere in terms of relationships. 

Before worship, a mate and I were discussing my blog. She was giving me some guidance in what she expects from men. I quite liked it. I then remembered what a lady from work said about her relationship and I thought everything ties up rather nicely. 

Today we are plundering into discussion about what you should do to display interest in the fairer sex. 

When I asked the lady from work how she felt in her relationship, she informed me that she has actually been engaged for five years. She said that it feels like they have spent their whole lives together but at the same time, it feels like it has not even been a second. She joked that if you ask her fiancé; he would say that it has been a life time of nagging.     

I was then thinking back to some of the sweetest things that I have been fortunate enough to experience. It is the little things that count.

Oh here come the stories again... 

Deep stares. If anything, I can speak for most girls, this is the process where girls can be lost in your gaze and actually not really pick up on anything that you are saying. The same guy that stared me into oblivion won the title for most romantic when he would just dance with me. We could be walking along corridors and he would just twirl me in and spin me around.

Oh, I still blush at those memories:)

I remember the one guy that used to say; "Good night Princess" at the end of his texts. I would go to sleep feeling like royalty. He stands out far above most men because that is really him: A true man. He is a realist, and does not just agree. He can explore conversation vacillating from light hearted Eric Claptin discussions to deep meaningful matters of the future. 

I am trying to show you that there are people out there who make an effort and that it requires little brain power but it really transforms a way a female regards you.

This one couple at our church have recently got married and he talks about his wife like she is a gift to human civilization. He has been speaking about her in this regard throughout their two years of dating too. It is ridiculously inspiring how his eyes light up at the sight of her. He smiles and it is so genuine that you immediately set the same standards for your future masculine creature.

My colleague has also just passed the two year millstone in his dating relationship. When I am in the presence of his girlfriend, I get goose pimples because he speaks of her with the highest level of love that it actually makes your heart melt. He is so secure in their relationship and always encourages her growth. He never puts her down. He is the wealthiest man in the world because he carries his treasure close to his heart.     

Men, how often do you boast in your partner? Do you look at her daily thinking that you have the pot at the end of the rainbow? Do not, when you have her, feel like the chase is over. Chase her for the rest of your life and you will feel like you have fulfilled the mission most men fail.    

Think back to the most romantic thing you have done for a lass and consider whether you can make it a life style...

Do not fall into the trap of getting old too quickly. Be young and adventurous. Spontaneous. 

You will make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world.