How to be happy

After the team got down we were told that we had to rock climb back up the other side of the mountain. Our leader first made us climb down another 50m of most infested wet rock. We then crossed the waterfall and spidered into the forest and up 30m of rock.

The sweat was vomiting down our faces and our leader told us to break. He then looked at us and said he has to go. What? He told us to follow the arrows and we will reach civilization. I could see the fear erupting in the eyes of skinny Indian kid with Wednesday legs and glasses (who we later named Spider Monkey) so I manned up to the challenge and started leading us up the mountain rocks. There was no path: Just rocks.

We were doing well clawing our way through the flora. A scream then came from the back. My mother had a thorn the size of a needle pierce her hand. Grateful that it was no army of arachnids or reptiles we removed the object from her and ventured on.

Just when we thought it was safe; a decaying smell enveloped the area. We had to soldier under a Giant tree root that was infested with maggots. The sight that met our eyes was not attractive. It was the skeleton of a Hadida blanketed with maggots. Fear that the predator may still be in the surroundings, saw us increasing our pace.     

Spider Monkey slipped after battling up a giant rock but luckily my mother caught him.

We were dehydrated and starved. I kept telling them that I have not watched enough Bear Grylls to identify what is edible so our motivation for food was: Starve.

After about another fifteen minutes of hardship and toil I saw the most beautiful glitter above us: Light. That meant land. I wiped a tear out of the corner of my eye. Such happiness comforted our last few climbs up the bush infested mountain.

After getting to the top, we were family. I loved my mother more than normal and Spider Monkey grew with additional confidence as he Hi5’s us goodbye.

In any aspect of life, you have to make it an adventure. True happiness is a choice and living on the edge adrenalines new prospects to any situations. If you make it through the fear and pain: Happiness engulfs your inner most being. 

How to make it through the wilderness...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Piercing screams and bottled fear stained the air at The Gorge. My mother drove us to some hole in Kokstad where she planned to settle a truce with her fear of height. Apparently this fear is contagious, as upon arrival no one volunteered to accompany her on her quest. I was almost finished with my December copy of SA RUGBY so there was honestly nothing better for me to do. Apart from that, I am an adrenaline junkie.

It is the highest natural abseiling point in South Africa so I can understand why as soon as we were set up to go that everyone in our group chickened out. There were only three of us deranged species left: My mother, myself and a skinny Indian kid with Wednesday Legs and glasses: The formidable team.  

They then told us that we have to go one at a time. My mother gave me this look which had me volunteering immediately.

As I started my venture down, there was this pang of conscience that hit me. It was a straight drop. On my second step downward, I was comfortable. I went all Spider-Monkey and did these dramatic jumps to and from the rock. Oh my, I was lost in a world of my own. I kept thanking God for blessing me with this world that I so hardly make an effort to enjoy. I stopped about half way and just took everything in. The birds, the scent of fresh water tickling my skin, and the natural glowing of the moment made me sigh with gratitude.

I got to the bottom and rock climbed to the waterfall where I just lay on a giant rock waiting for the others to come- and that is where I thought about how easy it is to forget to acknowledge the natural beauty. 

In a relationship, there are little things that make you crazy for a person but when you see them every day; they become mundane beauties. Try think to some of the things that are natural and genuine. Take time to absorb them and do not be afraid to acknowledge beauty if it’s thereJ

The biggest mistake you can make...

Hello hi.

It is a concept that is as deathly as the screech from sliding nails across a chalk board. It is as sickening as sun stroke or food poisoning. It is as lame as Savannah jokes. The theory of the real life bachelor is hideous. Please leave it to the series channel where it can be joked about but do not bring it into your character.

You cannot be flirting with a few women in hope that by giving them all an opportunity to impress you; that you will find ‘the one’.   

What often happens is that there will be a girl throwing herself at you or making herself a lot more accessible. The one you probably should connect with will draw away in hope that you will make an effort to fight for her. Being a male, you fall into temptation and ruin your chances with the girl that is best for you.

I often talk to my brothers about public affection. In the old days, this would mean holding hands or kissing in front of a group of people. These days; it involves FaceBook, Twitter and all different types of social media.

What girls say for the world to see, and how you reply to it paints perspective to the eyes reading it.

Obvious. Indeed. It still shocks me how men cannot see it.

What they may see as a naïve answer, according to my brothers- men can be naïve, is perceived as flirting or leading on.

You are looking for trouble if that is where you build the foundation of any relationship.

Making an effort, can be compared to an aggressive investment: It may go wrong but if it goes right… You reap a reward that is comforting. It is flawless when done correctly so easy up on them mistakesJ

How to tell her she is fat...

On our walk back to our original beach my brothers scouted some talent. Actually, they were so impressed with this one female that they started acting like idiots: One more than the other really. Flexing as he laid the towel down, he kept looking her way. It became such a comedy that I had to bust his moment. I told him that she is probably only sixteen. He said that the bet was on. He thought she must be at least twenty.

We sent the youngest of our crew in to interrogate the poor lass. He came back with a positive result for yours truly. She was only sixteen. I was right. All women look good when they are sixteen. They have yet to battle in the war of ‘’first year out of school” syndrome. They are still continuously active and socialise in other ways then daily coffees and cakes. Their time will come. Haha.

 Once they are of that age where they become what they eat, weight is always a touchy subject. No, you cannot tell her abruptly or even joke about it. Women catch those hints and it is hurtful. They may look like a pig but have you actually taken the time to enjoy how great bacon really is?

My brothers kept me on the straight and narrow. It was not incredibly painful getting that bacon slice from them as I tease them about their slightest imperfection too. It is a safe environment. My dad would also occasionally throw in that a flanker would not marry a prop. It is a hand off to some, but if it comes from those who know you, they often get the message across in a way that you could receive it and change.

Instead of telling her yourself, try look at what makes you fall in love with her. Hopefully, it is not her six pack but instead something deeper. You are also going to get old, most probably fat, and wrinkly one day and brother, she aint going to be leaving you.

If it gets really bad where she does not feel good about herself, talk politely to her family and they could give you some advice. You can even suggest that you both join the gym or go or walks/runs with her.

We need to become a healthier society but that is not that easy if we have lemon meringue and vetkoek so easily at our disposal. Self control and security I needed. Women are fragile. Do not smash her self-image. Get her family to soak the greasy stain out of her.

How Kidding is Attracive...

I am on holiday and have got my beneficiary to stand in as I have vowed to bid the social network adieu. Although I am technically not indulging in cyber civilization, I am still writing, inspired by fresh air and blistering sunburn… Attractive. I know.

The brothers and I hit the beach this morning. The waves on our beach were dangerous. Explosions of water shot at me. The side wash sucked me in. It thrust me around, dunked me and had me swallow so much salty water. It was a circus. I managed to catch a wave out but the brothers and I decided to walk to the next beach in hope of a more gentle splashing sensation… I think their real motivation behind the new beach was that there was simply no talent for them within our current location.

It is sad to say but we actually counted every step we took to the new beach. The heated total of 1 132 steps had us run into the new set of waves. I was having problems with my costume so I decided to stay shallow. I turned to check if I was between the two poles but as I turned; a giant wave knocked me over. My hair mopped my face and as soon as I found my feet on the ground, I pushed myself up.  

Whilst clearing the water from my eyes I found myself staring straight into the most beautiful smile… Confidence just steamed off this early twenties smiling male. He asked me if I was ok… I just smiled and stepped away deeper into the ocean. I turned around to see him still looking at me. Then he broke our stare and picked up a little kid. He started playing with this young specimen, well aware that I was watching, he lifted him up on his shoulders and protected him from the waves. Laughter just bombed from the little ball of charisma.

I am not dating for another two years so instead of pursuing a flirt I just tackled one of my brothers and thought… I am not sure why, but if males are good with children, it makes them at least 10% more attractive. A female finds comfort in that. A gentle nature is what provides security to children and possibly, for a female, it provides futuristic hope…