The sucker in the relationship...

I watched the third of that vampire and hyaena series... Twilight.

To be completely honest, the prior films have been bordering on lame in my opinion. I mean,  how can one girl have such bad luck? She is prey for both fields of specimen. They crave more than her blood: They crave her heart. It is too much of a metaphysical speculation. And, like most metaphysical speculations, it has very little reference to the actual facts of life as we know it. But this one... Sigh... I enjoyed it incredibly.

Prior the viewing of the film, my mother and I were having our kitchen bonding session. She said she had read one of my blogs and thinks my entire outlook on love and life is dull and boring. I love that woman. Her honesty is inspiring. I had to laugh because a few years ago she would be ever so glad if her daughter had the same ideals as I do now. Tut tut tut. 

Thing is, I think she is just worried that there are no men who have the qualities that I expect them to have. But this is where Twilight comes in: The one scene is focussed around the theme of the lass wanting to lose her virginity to the vampire because he wants her to experience everything humanly possibly before she becomes cold. 

It got rather steamy and pg before he controlled the moment. He paused the intimacy and said something that elevated me to the utmost place of respect for his character. He said that, in his time, he would have courted her for years before asking her fathers permission to marry her and then only contemplate stealing a kiss from her.

It just gets to me that we are living in a society where everything is speeding up. We are in a whirl pool of temptation rather then a sustainable river of fulfillment. 

It is becoming uncommon for men to lead a relationship. At the first sign of a women being interested, they give in. It is not the ideology of communism controlling a relationship that I am trying to highlight. That is ridiculous. I just miss the stories and the genuine feelings that came with being treated like a significant individual. 

Marriage is a commodity these days. Ask a kid about their first kiss and it is generally something they are not proud of sharing because it was a horrible club experience or with someone they never even knew. 

Mutual respect and courting does not have to be a romantic fantasy. Everyone felt butterflies once. Why do we forget where it all began?

Do not let the worlds perspective snake its way around who you can be. It will suck you dry. You will be left cold... And alone.  

How to dance and smile on the key pad:)

"A part of me is missing without knowing that you're ok and doing well"

Oh my word! What a text to wake up to. A simple text can mean so much. We cannot always see each other face to face so if you drop unexpected text every now and again, it can be perceived as meaningful:) 

I replied informing him that he makes me feel like a million bucks. He said, "You are a million bucks, and even then, it's only small change:)"  

Pinch me so I know I am not dreaming... 

It is that sweet candy floss feeling, where pink and glitter shine from everything. If you get a random text showing that you're on someone's mind, you cannot help but smile. 

We get so consumed in the day and in planning things that we often just need to lift our heads and tell someone we care. 

I am not implying that we should become deranged thumb incentivized animals that prey on technology to deliver emotions; let us rather opt for a genuine touch of sincerity. 

So how do we achieve this?

Males, I want you to practice becoming mates first with your beau. There is nothing more irritating then sending a text and not getting a reply. If this is constant happening in your situation, also consider that she has no interest in you. There is a way to communicate without feeling obliged for an answer and that is where you ask questions that are rhetorical or not open-ended. 

Let her know when she is on your mind. If she is overwriting your thoughts every second of every day then just give her a once off indication. Do not become obsessed and text her eight times during the course of a morning. 

Send her a text during a sporting game. It will blow her mind that she has crossed your thoughts under all the intensity. I know when I am watching sport that I hardly think of anything except for the game but if I get a text from someone during all the excitement, it lightens my mood and makes me smile. 

So what do you think?

Key pad dance on your mobile and make someone smile today:)

Get goofy, be you and tell her you care:)

"How will I know if he really loves me? I say a prayer with every heart beat. Falling in love when ever we meet..."

Haha... I am so in love today. With who? No human; but I have that incredible joy that I only find myself splashing in when I am in love... Thanks Whitney for making my morning a song:)

Ahhhh... I am just thinking to the times where I have made an idiot of myself. I remember being so head over heels for this one guy- he was speaking to me and I just nodded smiling... After he finished his sentence... I was still nodding and smiling... When he walked away... I was still stuck in my own element of time nodding... And smiling...

Oh there was this one swimmer too... Him and I used to do tumble turns together. We'd stare straight into each others goggles and smile whilst releasing vast amounts of bubbled carbon dioxide on our strokes to the lithosphere.
We'd even get arm spasms at the same time causing a need to stop and stretch together. 

One of the elders from our church boasted about his wife yesterday to me. He was telling me how they met and how, for seven years, he chased her. His eyes lit up and his tone was light and crispy. If i did not stop him, he would have burst into song. After all these years, he is still fascinated and deeply in love with his wife.

Today I want to let you in on how to let a girl know that she is the apple of your eye.

It is incredibly important to not get deeply serious and confess your heart in a monologue. Keep it quirky, fresh and like baked bread rolls out of an oven; delicious.

My heart becomes a butterfly that flutters into every corner of my cardiac contraption when I think of how one guy wrote me a letter. It was adorable. Whilst opening the letter, it exploded with his scent. Wow. I first laughed for a while because it was so cheesy. Then I read a poem: Roses are red. Violets are blue. No one is as beautiful as you. Hahaha. It invited me to watch a rugby game with him. It was to-the-point. He indicated he was interested and when I spent time with him it was very easy because there were no pretenses.

He even sang to me on another date. He cannot sing for nothing but Chasing Cars was the epitome of comedy as he belted out the lyrics. It was ridiculously adorable and it made my heart bubble with deep gratitude.  

I can go on with stories but what I find, from my discoveries, is that you should get to know the girl that is dominating your thought. There are certain things that are unique to her personality and if you acknowledge them, play up to them and make her laugh about them... She shall get the picture. It never hurts to be honest in a humorous way. She will also be able to tell you directly if she does not feel the same.

I had this one boyfriend that compared me to an orange. He said that I was bright. Full of flavor. Something he wanted to much up. It is almost sad but to me it was hilarious. 

Make that effort to let her know in a way that cannot be awkward. 

Dating is harmless unless it gets serious. Be friends, hold out on the benefits until marriage. Live and love:)

How to be the jock that tackles jealousy:)

Jealousy. 

The Auschwitz of relationships. A concentration camp that suffocates life. 

"Beware dear Lord of Jealousy. The green-eyed monster doth mock the meat it feeds upon."

I have heard stories of men being accused of being with ladies they have not even met yet... I could go on about how deranged women get. I should possibly research that because that is psychological... But today, my friends, I will let you males know how not to be lead by jealousy when dating a ten. That is right. Your significant other is a ten. Treat her like it:) 

Here are some tips incase you start feeling the green machine taking over:)

It is important for her to be spending time with her friends. They were there before you and- if things do not work out- they will be there long after you. By spending time with her friends you allow her to be geeky and silly. Practically, you are giving her space to let loose. She needs other stimulation. Just like men have play station days, fishing and game trips and even drinks-with-the-men, women also need their time outs... 

When it comes to what she feels is most important, you need to support her. If she has a love for sport and is possibly exceeding far beyond anyone's expectations- you should encourage her. I once dated someone who said I must give up my passion in sport for him because he is not the top of my priorities and I spent more time training than with him... 

If you have a common main motivation in life, it makes it easier. Faith can lead you in the right direction. I find that when I put God first above everything, everything else seems to work out. But when I compromise my standards for someone who does not believe what I know in my heart, then we both feel awkward and I cannot always talk about my love for Jesus because I respect his feelings. You only end up sharing one half of yourself with someone... That is not fair on either parties.

You need trust. If you grew up in a broken home you may feel like your parents example is haunting you. You are your own person and maybe you need to share your fear with someone to gumboot dance on the insecurities of your past. 

Do not turn into the monster aided by jealousy. 

It is melodramatic. Learn to be mellow and leave the drama to Shakespeare:) 

How to be a gentleman...

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams ..." - Dr. Seuss Wow, that was beautiful... It encapsulated my entire ocean of thought and glittered a smile upon my face. A genuine phrase I rate. Something so genuine, it defines the qualities of a gentleman... Today I swim in the pool of delight that encompasses the being of a the male whom is gentle.  I would just like to clarify that being a gentleman does not only apply to males when they are wooing a significant other. It is like a tattoo. Once you engrave the qualities into your manner, it becomes permanent and you embrace that title everywhere.    I am very blessed to be surrounded with gentlemen. This weekend alone, I was in awe of how special some of my mates are and it is by their example that I write today to give men who are still trying to figure the how-to on being that man that a lady feels proud to boast about:) Something that always makes me feel special is when a guy stands back and lets you enter a room first. One of my friends even take it to an extreme of letting me walk first up a hill toward a parking lot. It a gesture that is 'old school' but charming.  Acknowledging a lass in any situation is admirable. I was plodding along yesterday morning and I walked passed one of my good mates who was having breakfast with his bunch of male buddies. He immediately stood up at the sight of me, got my attention, introduced me to everyone and made me feel like I was part of the crowed. I did not intrude on their breakfast but he made me feel like I was a genuine interest in his life just like the group he was hanging with. Our friendship is interminable. Where some men choose to turn certain friendships on and off like a light switch, he chose to be relaxed and sincere.  I will just finish off with what really rounds up a gentleman in my opinion. Friends and I have often discussed what an impact it leaves on you when after you spend time with someone- be it a date or a coffee- the text after the vibe makes a female smile with security that it was time well spent. It can either be a thank you or a good night; even just a joke into the direction of what your communication was about. So many of my guy mates do that and it is ridiculously sweet. It may seem insignificant or a little weird but: We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

The List...

Hello daar:)

Todays blog has been inspired by one person. 

Ash:)

Our collective and collaborative approach to certain topics have been inspiration beyond control. Her honesty and out look on life is charming and, even though we may not want to admit it, she speaks on behalf of most woman. She is secure in wanting to be romanced one day and, even though us women put up this independent feminist front, we all want to feel like the centre of someone's world someday and today I am letting you men into a little secret ... The list.

Most girls in their teens create some sort of fantasy man... The man of their dreams... Literally. In this list, they bullet the characteristics and features that they would love in their future husband. They may have certain requests like, "Please treat my heart gently" or "love my freckles and my natural hair". Sitting comfortably in silence, can also be that pending issue that most females have an insecurity about... I remember my one boyfriend and I were so lame and awkward that we even said, "Silence is golden, so lets shut up and get rich."   

Silent scream...

Ultimately, we discovered, that in every list, females desire to be loved. Once again, you cannot just love someone deep down in your own heart- you need to remind them. You need to be spontaneous. Blind fold her and taker her places. My one mate made me a flower out of a straw and crumpled up serviette. It was not a romantic gesture but it I still perceived it as ridiculously sincere and thoughtful. 

In most lists, friendship in a relationship is a formality. Girls do not want to lose out on the attention given in a friendship. In a relationship, you may fall into the trap of a stereotype and it becomes forced or just boring. Many people may walk past each other and not even notice each other in the same way anymore. 

The list vacillates in sizes but it really just points to the quality needed in a certain man. She does not want to change you, she is simply just setting a standard that will avoid her from falling into the wrong relationships.

It is an interesting concept and definitely worth doing more research into:) 

Be you, and a great you, and you will be the perfect man at the end of some ladies list:) 

Circus of abnormality

I was naive. His love was like candy. It was artificially sweet. I was deceived by the wrapping. 

Why stabs from her past relationships bruise her future thinking...

If it not the way he stared, it is the way he touched. It is the way he held her heart in the palm of his hand- moulded- in soothing promises and comforting gestures... 

A female expects so much from her first love. She is set in the fairy tale of the happily-ever-after. The knight in shining armor. The Colgate smile and full embrace. Then she gets caught in the web of reality... Where she learns how to bleed, devoured by him. Completely. 

A lady is enveloped in her emotional reasoning. She over thinks and reads into every situation. She takes his word as truth and when things ends it is not just the reality of being alone... There are a lot of deep feelings that she has to do away with. If there has been any physical connection, then the process of moving on is fragile. Leap frogging from one relationship to another is a possibility or a constant seeking for attention may drive her newly single state.

The physical aspect to any relationship makes a woman crave intimacy and that is lethal... Dangerous actually. I have been looking at couples who have abstained from even kissing until they are married. At first, I thought this was strange but then I look at the world we living in... Sex is a comfortable subject and kids are experiencing lust younger and younger because of what they are exposed to in the media. What people think of before they sleep at night is often driven by their emotions for the opposite sex and then their sub conscious creates a fantasy that you would not discuss in public.       

We need to root back to what makes a two people compatible. You need a stem, a support system which is found in friendship. If you base it on intimacy, then you hunger desires that eventually become mundane formalities. Conversation and depth stimulates a blossom between people and if you sustain a genuine interest in personal growth, when it gets to the phase of marriage, you are encouraging perpetual respect for one another. 

A woman cannot fully walk away if she has given her dreams, heart and past to one guy... If you do not see the relationship as forever, then do not allow her to lose herself in you. 

Do not be the puppeteer putting on a show, allowing her to amuse only the pitiful.

Relationships need to be real. Allow her to be herself, remove her mask and until you are married: keep the relationship as light as possible so if things do not work out- She won't be bruised and scared by you...